Conversation between George W. and his National Security Advisor.
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi
picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?
An Italian Man, Who Goes To Malta
(где-то в нете был звуковой файл, где нижеприведенный текст читался с итальянским акцентом. вот это был мега ржач! не могу его найти, выкладываю только сам текст..)
One day ima gonna to Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go to eat breakfast. I tella waitress "I wanna two pieces of toast". She brings me only one piece. I tella her "I want two pieces". She says "Go to the toilet!". I say "You no understand. I wanna two pieces onna my plate". She say "You better not piss onna plate, you sonnawabitch". I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonnawabitch!
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fork. I tella her "I wanna fork". She tella me "Everyone wanna fuck". I tella her "You no understand. I wanna fork on the table". She say "You better not fuck on the table, you sonnawabitch". I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonnawabitch!!
So I go to my room inna hotel and there is no sheet onna my bed. I calla the manager and tella him "I wanna sheet". He tella me to go to the toilet! I say "You no understand. I wanna sheet on my bed". He say "You better not shit onna bed, you sonnawabitch". I don't even know the man and he calla me a sonnawabitch! I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you." I say "Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch. I gonna back to Italy".
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